I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
