she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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