Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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