Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
