So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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