You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
