His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
