i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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