My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
