I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
