Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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