I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
third nipple confirmed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
