i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
