you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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