So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
