i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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