i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Farmville is her only friend.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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