My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
