I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
