I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
His hands were made for my vagina.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I want her autograph on my taint
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
