the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
