hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize