His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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