Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize