He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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