i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
