Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
