Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
