Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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