6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Success! We fucked roommates!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
