"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
