my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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