Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
