Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
