Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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