I just made out with a guy for $7.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
