i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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