She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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