I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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