There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
