doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
