the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
