She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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