O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
