I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
