so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
