The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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