that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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