Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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