just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
