school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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