Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
