Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We had sex on a dog bed..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
