his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
