here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize