Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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