ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
