Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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