Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
