It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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