so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
