I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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