She said her name was "party"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hippo gnu deer
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
