Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
