we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
