I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just made out with a guy for $7.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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