oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
