I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
