I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
