wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
