break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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