If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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