apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm always down for nudity.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
