I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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